Monday, May 25, 2009

let the games begin.....

Here it is folks, your 2009 NCAA Lacrosse Championship Preview.

This one should be a doozy as both teams appear to be playing the best they have all season(otherwise, they wouldnt be here)

Cornell (13-3)
12.4 goals per game, 8.3 allowed, 41.3 shots per game

13.1 goals per game, 7.3 allowed, 41 shots per game

Last game:Cornell beat Virginia 15-6
Syracuse raped Duke 17-7.

Last time they met: Syracuse won 15-10

When the Orange have the ball: Nims and Jamieson will get theirs, but look for a variety of players to step in and comprise the rest of the offense for the orange. Aside from nims, not one single player has been the true fuel for the Attackmen this spring. The one thing they need to remember is not to be afraid to run one in every once in a while so that the defense is on their toes at all times. then, dish it off for a quick stick when they've gotten used to that.

When the Big Red have it: Like syracuse, this team LOVES to shoot. look for Attackman Rob Pannell to, like nims, get his. And he also has a great supporting cast. Unfortunately, they go up against the nasty Syracuse Defense today and that is why they won't win this game.

Final prediction: Syracuse 15, Cornell 11

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Syracuse- 17, Duke- 7

All Your Greg Paulus are belong to us.

Now how to get to Foxboro on Monday?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Paulus to the Orange

It's now official.

I see a new marketing opportunity for Cuse. Purchase an IHOP franchise and convert a concession stand into a new concept in sports concession marketing: IFLOP.

Syracuse and Lincoln-A Tale of 2 cities

It was the best(?) of times, It was the Worst of times.

Or so it goes.......

Today, Greg Paulus makes his decision on what university he will attend next year at approximately 10AM Eastern. And with the day finally here, i figure it's my duty to provide a complete comparison of Sir Flopsalot's two choices by category


Nebraska-Finished 9-4 last season. Offense scored 35.4 points per game last season while their opponents averaged about 28.

Syracuse-Finished a dismal 3-9 last season. Offense scored a bullshit 18 points a game while the opposition averaged 32, almost twice as many. ugh.



Nebraska-Bo Pelini, a man widely considered as a potential NFL candidate, is entering his 3rd season as the coach for the huskers. He has a super bowl ring and is in the 2nd phase of the same sort of progression Doug Marrone is walking into.

Syracuse-Doug Marrone, Former Offensive Coordinator for New Oreleans and the man with the biggest legs i have ever seen.

Advantage:The thighs don't lie. Syracuse.

Agricultural Product in Question

Nebraska-Corn. whoopee.

How is it harmful? Well you can always TRY to club someone over the head with an ear of corn. No guarantees that your victims will take you seriously ever again.

Syracuse-ORANGES! You squeeze em, and if all goes well you've successfully pepper sprayed the asshole in front of you. You can't even be charged with assault if you're sneaky enough!



Nebraska-Herbie Husker. Oh shit, a corn farmer. What's he gonna do, pull out a shotgun if Otto tries anything with his daughter?

This guy really fails to scare me. at all.
Syracuse-Otto. America's badass citrus fruit. Consider this: What's a farmer when his crops dont grow? A homeless piece of shit.
Other factors-
Nebraska- When greg cries, the "ears" are always there to listen. Just don't flop in the cornfield or herbie just MIGHT shoot you.
Syracuse-Snow. Lots of it. He lived with it for 18 years, i think he can tolerate some more snow.
Advantage-Take your pick.
I think we all know who the winner is today kids............... Stay tuned for my breakdown following the announcement.
It is now 8:45 AM, and Nebraska still sucks.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

from everyone here at SWRLU.  Because people who don't treat their mothers well on Mother's Day are almost certainly Hoyas.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

the SOBs-Most Suprising Player

(Takes Microphone from Brian)
(Bump bump bump)
Is this thing on?

Hello and welcome to another edition of the SOBs. I have the sweet, glorious honor of presenting Day 2's first award, Most Suprising Player.

Today's recipient was really a shot in the dark coming into this season. He didn't provide enough frequent minutes the year before, and with Donte gone the new question was? How would we fill that void?

We found an absolutely superb answer in none other than today's recipient........................................

Drum roll................................

And the SOB goes to........................

"Slick" Rick "Action" Jackson!

(sporadic applause)
(Doc Gibbs and the emeril live band begin playing)

Rick jackson really did everything we asked, and then some for the orange this season. As much as we love ongenaet and seeing him start, he simply lacked the presence on the offensive end that Rick had. Just look at the numbers.

Kristof Averaged 3.1 Points Per Game this season.

Rick had more than double that at 8.2.

And let's be honest, he looked feeble in his freshman season, and he improved in almost all key facets of his game which really helped when arinze was struggling. A good basketball team always has a bruising forward, and when Arinze couldn't do it, Rick was there to pick us up.

And now, his acceptance speech.

"I would like to thank the Academy for this imaginary honor. It brings tears to my eyes when i know i beat out a white guy who is barely 6 feet tall for this award. I would also like to thank my mom, Eric Devendorf for all the wonderful kodak moments we have shared, Ray for being absolutely god, Kristof! for sucking earlier in the year, and the man who invented farting for making me an internet sensation, thank you."

Very well put, i cried too.

and with that, i turn this party bus over to the folks over at Orange Fizz for the presentation of a hotly contested award, Best Junior!
(Crowd goes OOOOOOOOhhhh! AHHHHHH!")

The floor is now yours.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing! We Have A Winner!

Word from the suits over at the Syracuse P-S is that our own Dave Bing has been elected mayor of the city of detroit. He'll responsible for many of the same things Dougie is at Syracuse, Including....

-Driving a large percentage of people away from his jurisdiction
-Keeping a pile of Delinquents in line
-Doing their jobs in cities with TERRIBLE football teams

I'm seeing some connections here. poorly thought and ill-concieved ones, but when youre bored, you'll post almost anything.

Anyhow, it's not like there was much to post concerning this other than congrats dave, you've now inheirited the keys to the biggest shithole in america.Detroit picks a man who can Direct some traffic and distribute, now that's a deal.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Paul talks about paychecks with papa

Serious alliteration there. I finally got a chance to watch one of those new animated vids everyone now talks about. If you haven't seen this yet, please watch, it's worth the minute and 30 seconds of your time.

Back to Work Hooligans!

It's monday morning and you're all back to work. And with that, so is this blog.

First thing worthy of note. The SU Lax team drew a 2 Seed and will face Albany's Siena in the first round at the Carrier Dome. O shit, they won the MAAC lacrosse title! I'm So Scared!
^All sarcasm intended.

Second thing worthy of note, Poncho over at the sport hump ran the syracuse mountain goat this past weekend and came in about 600th place. Despite not beating a single kenyan, congrats!

^I can still whoop your ass.

I've been typing a report so use this as a preview of things to come, and now i have class.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Orange Brush Off Colgate

Syracuse: 13
Colgate: 7

The Syracuse Orange Men's Lacrosse team ended the regular season with a bang yesterday, as they batted a two-year old monkey called "Colgate" off their back in the final game at the Dome.

The game was Senior Day, the last regular season game for a number of great Orangemen.  Emotions ran high as the game began, and the Orange took full advantage.  They outshot the Raiders 15-3 in the first quarter, to take a 4-1 lead.  Goals were scored by Sophomore Jovon Miller to open the scoring, and Sophomore Joel White off an intercepted Colgate pass.

The second quarter featured much slower play, with Colgate dominating the ball for long stretches, but the Raiders were unable to cut the Orange lead.  They outshot Syracuse 13-3, but two of those three Orange shots found the net- one from Senior Dan Hardy in the final second of the half.

The third quarter looked much like the first in the beginning.  Cody Jamieson, who saw his first major minutes of the year, scored his first goal on his third shot.  The Junior had unleashed two lasers early in the game that, luckily for goalkeeper Tim Harrington of Colgate, both barely found the post.  He looked impressive and showed a lot of hustle in his time on the field.

Towards the middle of the third quarter, and into the fourth, Colgate began a run that saw the Raiders cut the lead to 10-7 after four straight goals, but the Orange's high powered Offense closed the game strong to stretch the lead back to six.  

Senior Dan Hardy and Redshirt Freshman Tim Desko led the Orange with two goals a piece, as Senior Kenny Nims led the team in points with five, including four assists.

Goalie John Galloway played decently, giving up a few savable goals but his game was better than some of the previous efforts we've seen out of him.  This game was one of the most physical of the season to this point, mostly due to the efforts of Sid Smith and Jovon Miller, who were both demons on defense today.  The Orange certainly look geared up going into the NCAA Tournament where they will try to defend their NCAA Championship.


It's 5:03, and Georgetown still sucks!