Syracuse and Lincoln-A Tale of 2 cities

It was the best(?) of times, It was the Worst of times.

Or so it goes.......

Today, Greg Paulus makes his decision on what university he will attend next year at approximately 10AM Eastern. And with the day finally here, i figure it's my duty to provide a complete comparison of Sir Flopsalot's two choices by category

Team:

Nebraska-Finished 9-4 last season. Offense scored 35.4 points per game last season while their opponents averaged about 28.

Syracuse-Finished a dismal 3-9 last season. Offense scored a bullshit 18 points a game while the opposition averaged 32, almost twice as many. ugh.

Advantage:Nebraska

Coaches-

Nebraska-Bo Pelini, a man widely considered as a potential NFL candidate, is entering his 3rd season as the coach for the huskers. He has a super bowl ring and is in the 2nd phase of the same sort of progression Doug Marrone is walking into.

Syracuse-Doug Marrone, Former Offensive Coordinator for New Oreleans and the man with the biggest legs i have ever seen.

Advantage:The thighs don't lie. Syracuse.

Agricultural Product in Question

Nebraska-Corn. whoopee.

How is it harmful? Well you can always TRY to club someone over the head with an ear of corn. No guarantees that your victims will take you seriously ever again.

Syracuse-ORANGES! You squeeze em, and if all goes well you've successfully pepper sprayed the asshole in front of you. You can't even be charged with assault if you're sneaky enough!

Advantage-Syracuse

Mascot

Nebraska-Herbie Husker. Oh shit, a corn farmer. What's he gonna do, pull out a shotgun if Otto tries anything with his daughter?

This guy really fails to scare me. at all.

Syracuse-Otto. America's badass citrus fruit. Consider this: What's a farmer when his crops dont grow? A homeless piece of shit.

Advantage-Otto.

Other factors-

Nebraska- When greg cries, the "ears" are always there to listen. Just don't flop in the cornfield or herbie just MIGHT shoot you.

Syracuse-Snow. Lots of it. He lived with it for 18 years, i think he can tolerate some more snow.

Advantage-Take your pick.

I think we all know who the winner is today kids............... Stay tuned for my breakdown following the announcement.

It is now 8:45 AM, and Nebraska still sucks.