Monday, December 15, 2008

The View from Outer Mongolia part 1. the 12 steps to coping with losses.

Before i begin i'd just like to give you a little breakdown of why i do this.
For those of us not fortunate enough to be able to watch games on time warner because we dont live in "God's Kingdom" or for the rest of us, Syracuse, i figure i should give an opinion of the untelevised games from my own perspective based on statistics, articles, and of course the lovely postgame presser.

But thi s week, i give you the 12 step plan to syracuse loss recovery, totally (not) stolen from AA.

any questions?
and so it begins........

Well boys and girls,(especially those of you like me that feel like they live on uranus)(hehe i said uranus), we............. its a word that starts with L and totally ends with ost...... im lost in thought trying to think of this word.its the opposite of win. Can i phone a friend?

oh here it is......... lost.

and that brings us to step 1

1.Admitting we have a problem- Yes based on tonights game, we have a problem. Free throws? clang, Effort? no way jose., Discipline? These guys could have gotten away with murder.

2.Believing god can restore us to sanity- I don't know about this one. He doesnt seem very reliable, especially after not letting us have turner gill.

3.Making a decision to turn our will over to god- See number 2.

4.Taking a personal inventory- Uncontested shots? check. Poor execution? check. Lack of movement on offense? check. Bad passes? bingo. Poor Shot Selection? shizzam.

5.Admitting the exact nature of our wrongs- How can I put this nicely? we played like we were in the special olympics tonight.

6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. - Jim Boeheim, take a moment from your god duties and teach these kids to shoot free throws.

7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.- Boeheim, use your time travel powers and just erase the loss. use the "reset" button. After all it seems to be the basis for my generation anyway.

8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.- Georgetown? never. St. Francis? well my sister goes there now, that'll do.

9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.- Lets punch some ACLs.

10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.- Im sure there was plenty of this in the presser. And if there wasnt, hopefully we can save our frustrations now and have the rest of the basketball team slap random women.

11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.

we.... need...... more..... power...........

12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This says it best. the orange played like a bunch of alcoholics. and they need to wake up and play as a team or the big east is gonna kill our chances.

and with that, i leave you.

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